Our romantic valentines day ideas for her classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist.

She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. You’ve probably heard a couple’s story of how they met get described as being “so romantic,” or the phrase might be used to describe a particularly dramatic or meaningful gesture from one person toward the object of their affection. Some people might even describe themselves as a “hopeless romantic” in general. But what does that word really mean? Here’s what romance is really all about, plus how to be a more romantic partner in your relationship.

This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. What does it mean to be romantic? Great relationships start with great sleep. Being romantic is about expressing love and dedication in a way that’s intentional, unmistakable, and deeply affectionate. It often involves dramatic or passionate gestures, though smaller actions that indicate enduring affection can also be romantic. Latin word Romanus or Romanicus, which literally meant “Roman” or “from Rome. That’s part of why romance today is often associated with over-the-top gestures between lovers.

First and foremost, a romantic person is willing to regularly show how much they love and adore the object of their affection. Whether you bring your partner a love-filled cup of coffee each morning, lather each other’s backs in the shower, or enjoy holding hands as you walk, true romance is all about showing your love for each other in consistent, meaningful ways,” Manly says. The most romantic of partners are those who are mindful of their significant other’s needs and desires in passionate, thoughtful ways,” Manly says. The most important habit shift to make if trying to become more romantic is attentiveness. If you become tuned in to what your partner wants and needs, you can craft spontaneous surprises and long-term romantic patterns that will eternally thrill your partner.

Importantly, a romantic person doesn’t just offer a bunch of gifts and sweet nothings with no real meaning behind them. A huge part of what makes someone or something romantic is the idea that the love and passion they offer is unwavering and enduring, and it’s uniquely offered to a specific person. That’s what separates a romantic person from a flirt: the intensity, longevity, and specificity of their feelings. MPA, MSW, a writer and clinically trained social worker, writes at mbg. The original concept of romance came from stories of the chivalrous deeds of knights willing to lay down their lives for love.

In modern times, dramatic gestures are still associated with the idea of romance: traveling long distances to surprise the person you love, proposing in front of a big crowd of people, or even simply talking about your future together early on in a relationship. They may have a tendency to idealize their partner or their relationship as well, which may not exactly be a healthy tendency, despite the romanticism of it. On the flip side, not everyone will consider sweeping gestures and over-the-top declaration of love to be romantic. Sometimes being a romantic person is simply about being highly present, warm, and affectionate with your partner in the day-to-day moments. However, it’s the steady sprinkle of smaller moments of kindness and care that create a trusting and healthy relationship.

Being a romantic person means setting a tone of affectionate love and passion year-round, not just on special occasions like Valentine’s Day or someone’s birthday, Manly points out. A true romantic partner tends to ‘date’ significant other throughout the relationship rather than devoting romantic energy to only one or two hallmark dates per month or year,” she explains. Being a true romantic is a way of life. Tell them you love them, often. Write a love letter reminding your partner of all the reasons you love them. Practice having slower, more emotionally connected sex.

Take note when your partner mentions something they want, and buy it as a present for them. Plan a romantic getaway with your partner from top to bottom, so they don’t have to think about any of the planning details. Always kiss your partner good morning, good night, hello, and goodbye. After you get to the end of a day together, tell your partner the things you liked most about the day together.

Journal about your dates and experiences with your partner so you remember them in detail. Reminisce about your fondest memories together—bring up specific details about your partner and the way you felt about them in those moments. Ask your partner what makes them feel loved, and then do those things. Remember important dates and events your partner has coming up, and check in on them on those days asking how things went or celebrating getting over the milestones.